Reduce unnecessary suffering

When I first meet with clients, I try to convey the overall goal of reducing unnecessary suffering. We often don’t realize how much suffering we can address by asking the right questions.

Here are the main areas that come up as starting points to begin to feel relief and see change.

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3 Cardinal Rules of Communication in Relationships

cardinal-rule. Noun. (plural cardinal rules) A fundamental rule, upon which other matters hinge.

Communication is KEY for the success of any relationship, especially the one with your partner. Many couples avoid conflict altogether. This is not helpful nor effective because it does not lead to fulfillment or satisfaction. It usually becomes a breeding ground for resentment, anger, and tension.

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You might be more of a control freak than you think

You are not responsible for others’ feelings and behaviors.  They are.  We grow up believing we are responsible because others blame us for their pain.  “It’s your fault I’m mad.”  “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t feel this way.”  “You made me mad/upset.” “You make me crazy.”

→ This makes you believe you are in control of others’ emotions, and you learn that you want to avoid the shame results from another’s blame like the plague. You learn to alter your actions to avoid making someone “mad,” and being perceived as a disappointment or an instigator.

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