It’s not a secret that American culture glorifies self-sufficiency and hyper-independence. We want to go it alone, do it all ourselves, and have all the control. When we encounter a speed bump or road block, the internal messages we hear sound like: buck up, soldier on, suck it up, just deal with it. Like, dude, what's wrong with you? Just GET OVER IT.
Not that it’s bad to pull yourself up by the proverbial bootstraps or motivate yourself to go on in the face of hardship. However, the subliminal message to this cultural value and norm is: If you need anyone or anything to help you, you’re weak. If you can’t do it alone, there’s something wrong with you. When we feel that the burden is all ours whether we need help or not, it can get very heavy.
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It's the day almost all Philadelphians have been waiting for, from two weeks to a few decades... The Eagles are finally in the Superbowl with a good chance to win. The energy is palpable and the fervor is contagious.
Ok... cool, but how does this relate to courage? If you've been following football, you probably know that the Eagles star quarterback Carson Wentz was injured 3/4 of the way through the season, and many thought the season would be over, having to play in the playoffs with a backup quarterback.
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Goal setting in general is tough, but lofty new year's goals are even tougher. They are a set up. A set up to: beat yourself up, land in your own swamp of disappointment and shame, and give you more evidence that you can't trust yourself.
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Wouldn't it be great if people were as intuitive as animals? They always seem to know when you need a cuddle, reassurance, or an overly enthusiastic greeting. But people can't read our minds, as much as we think they should be able to if they really knew us. Not the case though: they don't always intuitively know what we need. They are not mind readers. It gets even harder when we expect them to and we're constantly let down.
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that…. Wait, this isn’t your Pride and Prejudice summer reading flashback. I’ll start again because this is a truth. It is a truth universally acknowledged that as humans, we eschew loss of any kind.
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